New families with grandparents

Guidelines for Visitors: Tips for New Parents

By Nathalie van D

Last updated on 16 July 2024

Once your baby is born, you may have to brace yourself for a wave of well-meaning friends and family wanting to meet the new baby. While it's wonderful for the baby to be surrounded by love, visitors so soon after birth can be very stressful for the new family. Situations may arise that cross your boundaries as new parents and disrupt your bonding and resting.

Nathalie van Doorne has been there. As a mother of two and founder of The Little Leopard, Nathalie helps new and expecting parents feel empowered, confident and prepared by providing them with an onboarding so they can take on the most challenging job in the world with confidence. Today, Nathalie will share with us her guidelines for visiting with a new family:

One of the tough realities of becoming a mom is that during pregnancy everything revolves around US and people are extra careful and attentive to us and our needs, but then the second our baby is born, we are pushed out of the spotlight and everything revolves around THEM.

The shift is so sudden - it can be hard to accept. I mean, my own mom even forgot to say hi to me when she first came in and simply rushed straight to my baby's crib...  

The thing is, people come over to see our baby and they feel entitled to all sorts of things...

Things that can be very upsetting for a brand new mom (and dad)...

Things like kissing your newborn baby on the mouth or putting their dirty fingers in your baby's mouth... or picking your baby up when they're asleep... or staying forever when really you should be resting...

Your parental instinct would want you to speak up and tell them to back off, but you may not feel secure enough to do something about it, leaving you to observe the situation in silence through gritted teeth...

Because the truth is that our family and close friends are often the hardest to set boundaries with.

I experienced this first-hand, and from the thousands of testimonials I've heard from other new parents, I can tell you that this is a very common frustration most parents will face at some point...

So I want to help you out. I don't want you to have to feel that way! I don't want you to resent yourself for not having had the guts to speak up.

So I put together a very handy one-page rulebook that you can share with your family and close friends before they come to see your newborn baby.

Our visitors' clumsy and frustrating actions are mainly due to unawareness or miscommunication. They actually mean well. So you'll be doing everyone a favor by sharing some guidelines up front.

Trust me, it'll have a big impact on your mental wellbeing as a new parent!

You can find the one-page rulebook here:

Visiting our newborn baby.pdf

Download it, share it, take a screenshot if you want, or even print it and leave it by your door as a gentle reminder when visitors arrive.

Thanks, Nathalie, for sharing this handy guide with our Kietzee readers!

PS: As a Kietzee member, you can get €30 off Nathalie's Parenting Essentials Toolkit.

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