Guidelines for Visitors: Tips for New Parents

03 July 2023 | After Your Baby is Born | By Nathalie L

Once your baby is born, you may have to brace yourself for a wave of well-meaning friends and family wanting to meet the new baby. While it's wonderful for the baby to be surrounded by love, visitors so soon after birth can be very stressful for the new family. Situations may arise that cross your boundaries as new parents and disrupt your bonding and resting.

Nathalie Leng - van Doorne has been there. As a mother of two and founder of The Little Leopard, Nathalie helps new and expecting parents feel empowered, confident and prepared by providing them with an onboarding so they can take on the most challenging job in the world with confidence. Today, Nathalie will share with us her guidelines for visiting with a new family:

One of the tough realities of becoming a mom is that during pregnancy everything revolves around US and people are extra careful and attentive to us and our needs, but then the second our baby is born, we are pushed out of the spotlight and everything revolves around THEM.

The shift is so sudden - it can be hard to accept. I mean, my own mom even forgot to say hi to me when she first came in and simply rushed straight to my baby's crib...  

The thing is, people come over to see our baby and they feel entitled to all sorts of things...

Things that can be very upsetting for a brand new mom (and dad)...

Things like kissing your newborn baby on the mouth or putting their dirty fingers in your baby's mouth... or picking your baby up when they're asleep... or staying forever when really you should be resting...

Your parental instinct would want you to speak up and tell them to back off, but you may not feel secure enough to do something about it, leaving you to observe the situation in silence through gritted teeth...

Because the truth is that our family and close friends are often the hardest to set boundaries with.

I experienced this first-hand, and from the thousands of testimonials I've heard from other new parents, I can tell you that this is a very common frustration most parents will face at some point...

So I want to help you out. I don't want you to have to feel that way! I don't want you to resent yourself for not having had the guts to speak up.

So I put together a very handy one-page rulebook that you can share with your family and close friends before they come to see your newborn baby.

Our visitors' clumsy and frustrating actions are mainly due to unawareness or miscommunication. They actually mean well. So you'll be doing everyone a favor by sharing some guidelines up front.

Trust me, it'll have a big impact on your mental wellbeing as a new parent!

You can find the one-page rulebook here:

Visiting our newborn baby.pdf

Download it, share it, take a screenshot if you want, or even print it and leave it by your door as a gentle reminder when visitors arrive  

Thanks, Nathalie, for sharing this handy guide with our Kietzee readers!

PS: As a Kietzee member, you can get €30 off Nathalie's Parenting Essentials Toolkit. Just check in your member dashboard under discounts.

Start your FREE Kietzee Club trial to unlock all of our 30+ Kita search articles. Join now!

Already a member? Sign In

How to Get Support After Giving Birth (Paid By Your Health Insurance) 04 July 2023

Did you know that you could get at-home support (called "Haushaltshilfe") after your baby is born and that this can be paid for by your health insurance? Postpartum doula Julie Meresse will tell us everything we need to know about this topic, tailored specifically to families living in Berlin.

The Postpartum Period - Products, Tips & Tricks 28 April 2023

What do you need for the postpartum period? Our expert Karo Gaßmann recommends and explains her ten favorite products.

10 Common Myths About Breastfeeding 22 June 2023

Learn to separate fact from fiction. Katerina Koukaki, a doula and La Leche League International volunteer leader, debunks ten common breastfeeding myths.